Boys' Night Out
by k2elsey
Summary: Bored in their apartment, Kenny and Kyle both decide they need to spice up their life with some hot girls. But what ends up happening is a little different than what they had planned. K2 One-shot. Rated M just to be sure


"Hey dude, guess what! I got like five pizzas for free, check it out!" Kenny flashed his trademark grin and shoved a bunch of pizza boxes in Kyle's face. "So, we hanging out or what? You can't possibly expect me to eat all these pizzas by myself, right?"

Kyle smiled shyly, adjusting his ushanka over his hair and sauntered over to Kenny and the pizza boxes. " well, I can't say that I'll eat two boxes to myself, but I won't leave you hangin'," he said as he made his way into the nearest chair, pizza in one hand and grabbing for the remote with the other.

Enough laughs to last the night and 5 slices of pizza later, Kyle sprawled out on the couch. He wasn't necessarily to the point of heavy sleeping, but was close enough to dream. Sleepiness always came second hand with eating and being comfortable, but soon enough Kyle was awake again by the laughter of one Kenny McCormick. He was watching Jersey Shore. "Ew, turn that shit off." Kenny smirked and ruffled Kyle's hair, knocking his hat over. He patted Kyle on the back and smiled, " so, what now? When do we get the 'rockstar' lifestyle you promised me back when I moved in?" he asked, still smiling. "Whenever you stop watching such shitty shows." Ah, now that was the Kyle he knew and loved. "Seriously though..." "I dunno, Kenny... I thought this was the 'rock star lifestyle'? Pizza galore, and we never wash our clothes. What more could a guy possibly want?" He grinned, patting Kenny on the back as well. "Yeah, I guess... you okay, dude? You seem kinda sleepy." "Dude, I'm fine, just change the channel." Kenny turned up the news and tossed the remote to Kyle. "It's all yours." Kyle looked up, nodding without making a sound at the display of crashed cars on the news before them. He rubbed his eyes and let out a small yawn. " well, I guess I'm a little tired, just haven't been sleeping much lately.. I'm sure you've been stressed about this record too, because I have definitely been stressed about it for the past few, what? Weeks? Months? I don't even know at this point, but I am really feeling it all catch up to me." he said with a nervous laugh, removing his hat to smooth his hair down, tossing it into the floor and laying back down.

"Yeah," said Kenny, settling himself closer to Kyle, scanning the TV before them. "Same here. I think we should take a break. Go out to some club and meet some girls. What do you think?" But Kenny already knew the answer; Kyle was never much of a club guy. In fact, he was way too shy to even ask a girl for something as trivial as directions. "Pfff, yeah right. You go on ahead if that's what you want to do. I'll just... stay home and watch this interesting show." He said, flipping the channel. "Kyle, that's an infomercial." "Well this product seems lovely." "...About a nose hair trimmer." "Oh." "Yeah, 'oh' is right. Look man, you need to get out and meet some chicks." Kyle gulped and looked up from the floor, shaking his head at the stupidity and knew that there was no way he was going to get out of this. He sighed and stood up, " you're right. I really should go and just relax for a while,'couldn't hurt" he said with a shrug, smiling with an uneasy feeling. Kyle was not very comfortable with talking to women. He had no "game" as his friends would say, and he agreed. He froze up more than often and would ramble. Kenny grinned. "Let's go!" he said, opening the door, heading down the hall and to the stairs. "Dude, Kyle, I am SO proud of you. I didn't think you'd cave in that fast." Kenny said, giving Kyle a hard nudge on the shoulder. He took his keys out of his pocket and started his car once they were inside. "You'll be the designated driver since you don't drink beer. And also..." he said, looking as pleased as ever. "Go get 'em, tiger." Kyle cringed. "Don't ever say that again." Kenny stuck his tongue out in response. "Whatever." Kyle simply shrugged, "What can I say? I didn't feel like fighting, and plus, we can all use a good night out and just let our stress fade" he said with a smile and put his seat belt on quickly. He chuckled and brought his hand to his face, shaking his head, "But please, Kenny, the shitty jokes. Save yourself," he said with a final laugh. "And wow, thanks. The joy of being the designated driver," "I know it brings you great honor, Kyle-san. Use all that I have taught you wisely," said Kenny, who was giving his infamous toothy grin. "Also, I must say, I think my jokes are funny..." "Bullshit." Suddenly, Kyle's nerves kicked in. He couldn't help but feel the anxiety become more intense and evident as they drew closer and closer to the bar. He didn't mind going to a bar and chilling with his friends, but it was when you mixed women in the picture, that was when he felt the most nervous.

Kenny didn't miss a beat. "Dude, Kyle, it's okay. Just relax. Breathe in... breathe out. You'll be fine. Just let them do the talking if you're afraid that you'll be awkward or whatever. Trust me, she'll talk enough for the both of you. That's just how girls are." Kyle rolled his eyes. "And why are you giving me girl advice, exactly?" "Because we're both getting laid tonight, that's why." Kyle cringed. He respected women far too much to be okay with that plan. One-night stands weren't really his thing, and he was pretty damn proud about that.

Kyle tried his best to follow Kenny's advice but ended up nervously laughing at the word "laid". His nerves got the best of him yet gain, leaving him with clammy palms. "I really don't know how this is going to work, seriously, but if you say so..." he said with a shrug, uncertainty in his voice at the end of the sentence.

Once they were there, Kenny drew in a sharp breath and jumped up in the air, pumping his fist already. "Woo! Finally getting out instead of just playing Zelda and eating Count Chocula." Kyle followed him closely, almost walking on Kenny's heels. The music was absolutely vibrant, pulsing through their bodies before they even came through the door. And it was actually catchy, much to Kyle's surprise. As soon as Kenny went up to the bar, a girl noticed him and made her way towards him. The usual. He looked around, seeing that a lot of people were entering and exiting the bar frequently. Then he hopped up onto a barstool, smelling the distinct odor of cigarettes and too much cologne. Kyle looked over at Kenny, who had the girl giggling, and sighed. He was a little jealous, yeah, I mean, why couldn't girls just walk up to him like that? He looked around the room, looking for a girl that was maybe off to the side like he was. Nope, they were all outgoing, all dancing wildly, all paired up with some guy. He decided to get a drink. One shot of rum in some 7UP couldn't hurt anything, right? Suddenly, he felt a presence next to him. Expecting a girl, he looked up and smiled, but it was just Kenny, and his shirt was soaked. "Dude, what happened?" "I... I told her a shitty joke, and followed that by asking her to come over. She didn't take too kindly to that." Kyle face-palmed. "You had SUCH a chance, Kenny. I TOLD you no jokes!" Kenny held up his hands in defense. "Hey, whoa. I know, I know. But I kinda ran out of things to say. She wasn't good at keeping a conversation. She kept wanting to talk about her cat and how he constantly kicks his turds out of the litter box. Weird." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.. I mean, she threw a drink at you, dude." "No, I - hey wait, are you drinking? Cool! I'll buy you some vodka shots. If you pussy out, you're sleeping on the couch tonight, and I get the bed." "What? No, dammit, Kenny, I -" "Hold on!" Kenny was talking to the bar tender as Kyle rubbed his temples, willing an oncoming tension headache away. "Dude, here, try these. It's like swallowing Listerine at first, but you get used to it. Kinda. I just decided it would be really great if we both got totally hammered. We'll call a cab, okay? Just don't worry! Live a little." Kyle stared at the tiny glass of vodka, wishing it would disappear. "Kyle... come on!" "Okay, okay. Jesus." He pinched his nose as if that would help the deep burning sensation it created, and gulped it down. "FUCK." "That's my boy!" "Don't - " Kenny patted him on the back like he was performing the Heimlich maneuver. "Don't say that, please." Kenny chuckled despite his unhappy friend. "You're doing great. Come on, just six more." By the time Kyle had chugged them all down, Kenny had chugged a few too, and then they had a few Coors to finish it all off. Kyle leaned up against Kenny and rubbed his waist. "I - *hiccup* really like this shirt." Kenny threw his head back and boisterous laughter escaped from the back of his throat. "Well I like your face." Kyle grinned and rested his head atop Kenny's shoulder. "You know, Ken, we don't need any stupid girls to validate us. We just need each other, you know? Maybe we're better off that way. Just two Love Life Failures doing what they do best... being failures at love lives. We have enough fun as it is. Fuck girls." Kyle would never normally say anything as demeaning as that towards the female population, but right now, he just didn't give a fuck, and it felt awesome. "Yeah..." Kenny drew out the word as if time was in slow motion. "yeah, Kyle, I think you're onto something! We'll fuck each other instead!" Kyle burst out laughing and shook his head. "Aw, Kenny. Always thinking about sex." "Well yeah, I mean... don't you?" "Don't I what? Think about sex? Of course! Just not all the time. I can *hiccup* control myself, thank you very much." "Twenty bucks says if I tried to seduce you in the bathroom, you wouldn't stop me. That's not self control." "Oh, like hell I would! I'd stop you. That twenty bucks is mine." "Kyle, I wasn't actually making a bet." "Yeah? Well I think you're... I think you're pussying out. Yup. And if you pussy out, you gotta sleep on the couch. No exceptions." Kenny raised his brows. "Okay, dude. You're on. Let's try it right now." They headed back to the bathrooms dangerously close to each other. "This is such a stupid idea." "Yeah, I know. Isn't it great?" They both started giggling as Kenny pointed towards the door of the mens' restroom and said, "Right this way, sir." Once they were locked inside the handicap stall, Kenny just stared at Kyle. "Well?" the redhead asked. "I'm all yours." "Kyle, this is..." "Weird?" "Yeah." "I know. But I need twenty bucks." Kenny smirked. He made his way over to his friend and hovered near his face, nuzzling up against his neck. He kissed his nose, and then planted small kisses on his cheek, trailing down towards his neck. This elicited a small shiver from Kyle, but he pulled back anyhow. "There. See? Simple. I want my twenty -" Kenny would have none of it. He had barely started! He covered Kyle's mouth with his own and immediately slipped his tongue in, wrestling violently with Kyle's, shoving him onto the toilet seat, and straddling his hips. This time, Kyle didn't pull back. Kenny brought his hand up to gently caress Kyle's chin, and then used his other hand to knead mercilessly into his growing erection. Finally there was a moan escaping from Kyle's petite mouth. Kenny worked faster, and kissed even deeper, secretly loving every second of it. He brought the hand that was on Kyle's chin down to his waist and started toying with the hem of his shirt. Was this really happening? "Off," Kenny instructed, breaking their kiss for the first time. Kyle hesitated. "Wha - what are we - ? " "OFF." Kyle complied, and hung his shirt neatly over the handle of the toilet. So much skin. So much of Kyle's skin, and it was all Kenny's to smooth his tongue over. And he did just that, making Kyle shiver slightly again, and making a small gasp escape him. "You taste so sweet. Let's see how sweet your dick tastes." Kyle blushed madly, and then they both heard someone come in and unzip their jeans, using the urinal. Both were breathing heavily, adrenaline rushing through them, not wanting to get caught. Kenny held a finger up to his mouth and then slowly went in to pull Kyle's pants down as quietly as he could. Right as Kenny's mouth started to grace Kyle's cock with its presence, the random guy left. Phew, crisis averted. "Holy SHIT." It had been a while since Kyle's last blowjob, and yeah, it was nice to have one again. Kenny alternated between fast and slow licks and bobbed his head to the best of his ability. Kyle moaned and dug his fingers in Kenny's hair, clenching it and twisting it along with the pace of which Kenny was licking. They stayed like that for a while, until Kyle felt his balls twitch. "Ken, I - I'm gonna, I'm sorry I -" Just then, Kyle came, and Kenny swallowed it like an expert. It really had Kyle questioning everything, since Kenny was supposedly obsessed with girls, not guys. "So," Kenny said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "How was that? Can I have my twenty bucks now?" He asked, smirking devilishly. "No! You cheated!" "What the fuck, dude? How did I cheat?" "You... you... Oh, nevermind, here's your stupid fucking money, loser," Kyle said, rummaging through his pocket. "Don't spend it all in one place." "I won't." They both walked out of the stall, heading towards the exit. "And Kyle?" "Yeah?" "I really liked that." "Yeah," Kyle replied. "Me too."


End file.
